The other night I was out at the bar, enjoying some time away from the house and the kids. I’m a stay at home mom, so every couple of weeks I need a break. NEED.
I like to go out singing at my favorite karaoke bar. It lets me stretch out in my own skin for a while without any demands being made of me. It’s rejuvenating.
Since my favorite hobby happens to take place at a bar, I do get hit on from time to time. After ten years of marriage, I’ve gotten used to explaining to guys that I’m not only married, I’m committed-married.
One would think a gold band on the third finger of the left hand would do it, but more often than not it simply elicits questions like, “Well, does that matter?” or “If you’re married, why isn’t your husband here with you?” – as if to imply that married people aren’t allowed hobbies of their own or time apart.
This last time I was out, however, I had an experience that changed the way I think about my answer to those questions.
A nice man (and, yes, married people can find other people nice) was chatting with me when suddenly the questions shifted a bit and I could tell he was starting to feel out if I was available.
He was polite about it, and after I told him I was married, he asked, “Do you think it’s forever?”
I’d never been asked that before, in that context.