Yesterday we were hanging out when she told me in passing that she got a storage unit and also that her awful boyfriend would be out of town for a few days, it stuck in my mind. Even though we made other plans, for today, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I knew the chance was hers for the taking. So I couldn’t sleep, and I texted her in the middle of the night and told her we weren’t going on an adventure today, I was going to help her move instead. I asked her if she was ready, and I’d be willing to help her and bring all my storage totes and packing supplies and make it happen today, and she agreed! I knew in my heart she’d never do it on her own because the abuse and manipulation in that relationship would draw her back in and she’d never been free. It’s a cycle that has been repeating for months and months. One day where he’s affectionate, and she’s hooked, followed by weeks of emotional and physical abuse. She’d beg him to stop drinking, beg him to treat her better and he would for a day or two and she’d draw back in, then right back down the tubes.
She’s said for so long that she knows it’s bad, and she doesn’t want to deal with it, but… well, I’ve been in abusive relationships too, and once you’ve been there you can see it in someone else, and you just hope to god you can get them the help they need when they need it.
So today I woke up and drove right over. We packed up all her possessions, sorted through most everything, and got almost all of it sorted and moved to either the storage unit or her mom’s house. I’m so proud of her! She’s not out of the woods yet, but you guys, I think she’s gonna make it. We have until Tuesday to get her 100% out. I know she needs to have NO reason for him to contact her. She can leave no trace. No reason for him to ever trick her into coming back to the house or else he might do something terrible. Our next step is helping her get a restraining order against him. Might seem rash, but he truly nearly killed her when he choked her out in yet another unfounded jealous rage recently.
Please, everyone, please please help your friends and loved ones when they need it. Abusive relationships come in so many forms so always be on the lookout. Offer an ear to listen, and offer lots of hugs, and perspective when they need it. And when they’re ready, please do everything you can to help them get out of the hole their abuser has put them in.
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